Well, I suppose, since I sent the money for the ELF in six weeks earlier, I technically owned an ELF earlier, but not until there was a physical ELF, a bright wasabi green ELF to be specific, sitting outside my house, did I consider myself an ELF owner.
It arrived inside a truck. The door of the truck opened and there it was hiding in the shadows of the interiors. The deliverer went inside the truck and then, shyly, nose first, it emerged into the semi-shade.
I’d been anticipating it so long that it almost didn’t seem real. The deliverer took a few minutes to point out each control and what each control did, and then it was time for me to get in….
which at first seemed impossible. I’m not sure how I did it that first day. Let’s just say that it was with several false starts, and grace was not in the least involved, but making the moves a woman doesn’t make if she’s going commando was. I could tell right away that my legs would soon be more limber than they were at present.
And then I took it around the block, once, twice, three times. It was mine and I was driving again for the first time in 30 years. I took it to get a lock and I took it to get registered, and everywhere I went, it attracted tons and tons of attention.
If this doesn’t knock me out of my rut, nothing will.